I want my life back or should I say my mind back, oh heck I am not sure what I want, that is the problem in a nutshell. Do they make blinders for people or is it mind blinders I need? My house is a disaster, the yard is a disaster and all I can think of is new projects, till I think them through and it seems like to much work.God help me please or kick me square in the butt.
Last year my father in law past away and since then I have become the Fuzzy's hired hand, sounding post, and numerous other things, you get the picture. Years ago when we were newlyweds I was under the misconception that we would work together just the two of us, but that was not the way things turned out. Family that have always worked together do not easily let new people into the mix and I gave up trying and just helped during the calving and when no one else was available, hence my nickname( the last resort). As the years went by I found my own life, raised my girls, went to work off the farm and worked on the yard ,gardens,sewed,did crafts and the cattle. Okay so life changes, but at my age I am not handling it well I like my space, oh God do I like my space. I never thought of myself as a person who needs to be some what organized and others would laugh at this but I like to now that I can start a job and get it done if the mood is right I can't be sure of that anymore. Now its a case of "Bob can you come and give me a hand for five minutes or I only need you for twenty minutes," does not matter that I might be in the middle of something, and good lord don't say that you are busy because then you hear" well what is more important " or my favorite" well if you don't care about this place we might as well sell it". Forgot to mention that my dear sweet man does not know the difference between five minutes and two hours. In his defense though he does need help at times and things have to be done, but why ,when I am busy with my own life. Guess that would be a case of Murphy's law coming into play.
So here I sit because things have got bad around here and I don't seem to be able to know what to finish or were to start. The washer has just quit and so it should be changed, the dishes should be put away the floor needs sweeping the carrots are ready to be put in the jars, and I sit here typing because I can, no one is here but me, it is so peaceful . In my defense I do have the bed made the pickles put in the basement and the table washed off and new cloth on, the dog and cat fed some of the flowers watered wash started dishes washed. I feel a sense of impending doom because of my lack of work done , I just know I will get caught in this mess and there is no one to blame but me .
Now that I have got that out of my system maybe just maybe I can find those blinders and stick to one job at a time and get it done,please Fuzzy stay away I think I can feel the motivation coming on.Darn it, I hear the tractor,he is home for lunch,oh well life goes on. Someday I will get everything done,maybe in time for my funeral.